Ramblings of a Semi Sane Person: Apple Press Shindig

For those of you that know me, you are aware I have a pretty bad case of Social Anxiety Disorder. I've gotten good at hiding it over the years, but it's still there. Always. If you could hear inside my head whenever I'm face with an uncomfortable situation, you would think me crazy. When I found out I was taking my 9 year old to a friends' birthday party, and I didn't know these people, I found myself sitting in my room, hyperventilating, and crying....crying because I knew I was going to have to meet new people. Talk to them. Sit there and pretend to be...normal for a couple hours, outside of my comfort zone...which is generally my couch, living room, or bed.

Well the other day my husband ( Vince) came home from work and told me that the owner of where he works was putting together an Apple Press Party.
"A what?"

Mark had bought a new apple press. Old fashioned, wooden press that makes apple cider. He wanted to celebrate the new press, and invited all his employees, and their families, to come down, help make some cider and take some home! Mingle, get to know each other. This scared the crap out of me. But Vince seemed excited for me to meet his co-workers I hear about all the time, and he wanted to surprise Guinevere with a fun day! So I smiled and said
"Of COURSE I would love to go" .....on the inside I was already biting my nails and telling myself to breathe slowly.

Well today came and went, and to tell you the truth, I had an absolutely good time.

I'm not good at meeting new people ( obviously), I'm more than happy with my little social circle I have going on. I worked hard for that little group of friends. I don't want to throw any more into the mix...that would make it, complicated! But today, I shocked even myself.

Vince usually stays with me, encouraging me to talk to people, helping me hide out when a panic attack hits, he's my....crutch, for lack of a better word...in social situations.
Today, since he was at work, he was helping, a lot. Going in and out of doors to get things for the boss man, helping label the bottles, helping gather apples, and get the BBQ ready. Normally I would've found myself a small corner to tuck into , but today, shockingly, I stayed in the group. Talking to the other wives, laughing, joking. When Vince would introduce me to people, I shot my hand out to shake it, made eye contact, and smiled, and it wasn't faked. The more the day went on, I found myself sitting and having conversations with people, that I didn't know, before today.

And when Riley decided to take a nap, I found a comfy chair, in the break area, and just sat back and watched. I watched people be excited to see Vince there. They would ask him if his family was there, and they would come right over to meet us "finally" they would say. Because Vince talks about his family all the time to his co-workers (which made me super happy to hear about in the first place)
But to watch him, be proud of his job. Be proud of where he worked, made me proud.
I know his job is secure. But after him being unemployed for over a year, it's still hard for me to sit back, relax, and know everything is going good.
When I saw him today, when I saw how his peers, and bosses talked to him, laughed with him. I realized, this is an amazing place he has to work.
These people are amazing. They treat their employees great ( understand if you need time off for family things, take the crew up to a cabin to white water raft in the summer, have Xmas parties, encourage you when you're doing a good job, talk to you about how you can fix things when you're doing a not so good job etc) I don't know how he found this place, but I am SO glad he did! Not to mention the awesome, fresh roasted coffee he gets to bring me home!
Today was a great experience, For me especially. I found that I DO have the courage I didn't know I had, to be social, without Vince right there holding my hand. I got to watch Guin learn how to make cider, and play with other kids, I got to see Vince in his "element" with his co-workers/friends. And most importantly, I realized, I love my life. Sometimes it seems hectic, crazy, unstable, and chaotic...but I LOVE my little family. I LOVE my husband and my daughters, and most importantly I LOVE this little life we have for ourselves!