Wednesday, November 16, 2011

My sane, in this world of insane

It has been one FUBAR day.
I'm just at my witts end. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I keep telling myself to breathe. Take one day at a time. But what do you do when that one day turns into a week, that turns into a month and before you know it...your whole life.
I want to give my kids a good life. Help them grow into great adults. What they choose to do with their life is up to them. So long as they're happy, I'll be happy. But I can't help but question if I would want them to have my life...and the answer is no.
Sure I have an amazing husband, who loves us very much, and would do anything to make sure we're safe. And although people keep putting him down and making him feel like he's 2 inches tall, he still stands proud, and marches on, proving them all wrong, one hypocrite at a time. I have an amazing daughter, who I would do anything for. She's my buddy, my rock. My sane in this world of insane. And I have another one on the way. I love being a mom. And yeah...I guess I would be happy if they end up having what i have in life. Love. 
But all in all, this world is a confusing, scary ass place. I hope I can be all that I want for my girls. And not be, what I don't want. Days like today scare that what I'll become? I hope not. My husband and friends and children, deserve way better. And if I do become what I fear most in have my permsission to shank me.

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